There is freedom and safety in being your true self
As we become more aware of our inner world we grow to learn to feel less anxious stepping into and expressing our true self.
When we understand that we live in an imperfect world which consists of opposites, such as pleasure and pain our real self can develop. As we come to terms with living with these opposites our real self has to adjust to the changes we go through as we mature through adulthood. This involves being able to hold and express a wide range of emotions, even when we receive opposition from people close to us. An essential skill to have in this instance is the ability to negotiate respectfully our position and be heard, and be able to listen to the other person. It is having the ability and self-worth to say, ‘let’s agree to disagree’ and being able to repair the relationship when there is a disagreement.
How our true self develops
The true self blossoms when there are supportive relationships from parents, grandparents, extended family, friends, partners, therapists, teachers and most of all from you. The kind of support that is most beneficial is encouraging ourselves from refraining from hiding away from our true feelings even when they feel unpleasant. Our liveliness and joy deepen when we allow ourselves to safely feel emotions such as anger or sadness. Our real self is more likely to grow when we have supportive people around us to share our interests and stimulate us to develop our skills.
Supportive people also encourage us to have a separate self where we can grow and develop in our own unique way. Our real self develops as we own our own needs, feel free to express our unique self, look to ourselves to make our lives meaningful, and find a balance between being self empowered and reaching out to others to give and accept support.
Benefits in being your true self
When we know who we are and what our needs are and how we impact other people, we can make better decisions about our need for people and our desire for independence. Indicators that we are most likely connected to our real self include an ability to self-soothe painful feelings, make and stick to healthy commitments, express ourselves honestly, be alone without feeling anxious, and we can acknowledge that we have a core self that remains the same throughout our lifetime. It is evident that there are many benefits with being authentic as mentioned not only personally but also interpersonally as we learn to creatively enjoy life.