Working With Traumatic Grief

Traumatic Grief is something you have when you do not know what happened to you or someone close to you.

For example, Traumatic Grief is like a passage of time gone by that feels frozen or stands still. I understand how this feels because I experienced it when I lost my father to a brain hemorrhage who I loved and I still love when I think of him.

We know this can happen to people who have been impacted by something unimaginable such as the Carona Virus or the LA fires because no one was expecting it or prepared for it.

In spite of this happening to our world, I believe we can still manage.

One thing that is important to know is we all feel deeply moved by each other’s experiences as I have witnessed as a therapist to my clients.

Therapy is a vital form of treatment to assist people to overcome Traumatic Grief.

Traumatic Grief can go on when we haven’t been able to repair family and love relationships. Once we make a repair, we are reminded how much we are loved by our family even when we cannot see each other’s points of view.

We need each other in our families to feel loved and to love.

There is nothing better in life than to be connected.

To make meaningful connections in your life is to enhance your life. One way to do this is to become aware of you and your family’s needs and wants. For example, you can take your Dad to the rugby and watch a game together and build your relationship together and feel yourself enjoying your connection with each other.

Find true comfort in being with your family and feel proud to be someone who is part of one. To make meaningful connections you need to know where you stand in relation to your values and your view of yourself and others. This can be seen when a person understands you and you feel a connection with them.

For example, we enjoy family and friends who respect us and want us to be happy and enjoy ourselves.

We are primed at birth to be in need of connection with safe familiar other humans. Have you ever sat in a café while having a coffee and looked up and seen a warm familiar face and instantly found your body relaxing – that’s this feeling of connection we long for.

We can feel a connection with whatever we are doing in the present moment as long as it has meaning for you. Tell me what’s meaningful to you, is it playing golf, watching Netflix with someone you care about or is it eating a wonderful meal with your Mum who you love and loves you. Loving what you are doing is loving who you are and this is like sitting before a pond watching the weather patterns change at sunset.

The opposite to this feeling of connection is when we lose our attention to what we are doing. This is when we lose ourselves and this makes living lifeless. Coming out of this makes life easier and life feels fulfilling.

This is why we do not want to lose our connection to ourselves because we can lose our way and be controlled by someone else who may not have our best interest at heart such as a shadow conscious. Carl Jung called it the shadow. Therapy is about making the shadow conscious of itself to live well.

Reference: Author: Dr Joan Borysenk, Book Title: Minding he Body, Mending the Mind .