Work with narcissistic behaviours and find your true self
It is not unusual for us either to demonstrate narcissistic behaviours, or to know people that do, and behave in ways that limit emotional intimacy.
What are narcissistic behaviours?
Narcissistic behaviours may include a person lacking empathy, being self absorbed, manipulating, and exploiting or using others. A narcissistic person is usually unable to reciprocate a natural and mutual flow of giving and receiving in a relationship.
At the core of these unhelpful behaviours often stems a narcissistic wound which develops at a young age. It can also be passed down to the next family generation if it is unresolved. This wound is called a false sense of self or a masked self. It develops when caregivers either ignore or place too much attention on their child. The attention may be abusive or unrealistic and grandiose in its’ overt quality.
The caregiver may also hamper the child’s ability to separate, and negotiate closeness and distance from others. Consequently as the child becomes an adult they may fear being alone and seek co-dependent relationships to maintain their false sense of being special or better than others.
This means a thirst for attention, validation and being popular overrides their ability to be emotionally intimate – because this would require the masked defensive self to soften and become realistic. In addition such a change can also be scary when meeting our real selves and realising there’s a need to transform the narcissistic wound called abandonment depression.
Narcissistic behaviours negatively impact relationships
A narcissistic person can place unrealistic demands on their partner, friends and family and when disappointed reveal disturbing mood swings. These demands may escalate and the person may become determined that they will ‘win’ with beliefs driving their behaviour, such as:
“I deserve better”;
“When you please me and give me attention I will love you”;
“What’s yours is mine”; and
“My rules don’t apply to me”.
The emptiness inside that develops because of being ignored or given too much attention by a caregiver, can never be filled by others.
Transform narcissistic behaviours
This is where Mind-Body Psychotherapy is hugely beneficial in providing consistent attunement and enabling a person to be an individual with respectful boundaries, able to uniquely express themselves, be successful in their own right called self activation, and importantly learn to support and humbly receive from others.
The result of healing the narcissistic wound is increased self esteem, safety for self and others, and a reduction of pressure and stress.
Epstein, M. The Trauma of Everyday Life. 2013.
Masterson, J. The Search for the Real Self. 1990.